T he young apprentice was sitting inside the tent. He was living there with the old shaman for some time now. Outside the tent the air was blowing. Step by step a feeling of sorrow started coming to him, he started remembering his home, his relatives, his previous “easy life” in the city. The shaman, maybe because he realized his state or maybe because he felt the same sorrow, started to sing a lyric song. He could not imagine that the old shaman had the ability to sing so well. From the song, his memories of home and his sorrow grew so much that without wanting it he started crying.
This happened, said the old man after the song finished, because you realized how everything “kills” you. Your idea of who you are, connected with the past, your attachments and all your memories. You completely melted inside these memories, you were completely identified and absorbed by them! Yes, I sunk totally into the feeling of the song, he started to give excuses I sang this song on purpose, the old man replied, in order to strengthen what was already inside of you. But in the beginning you heard another “song”. It is a woman from your past that languishes for you. This got into you and you started feeling sorry for yourself. Your soul Tios pulled you in the world of Erlik and you started losing your vital energy which is your shamanic soul Kut, your power. If a man is miserable like this for a long time, living in the past, he will lose his Kut. Such a person can even get sick or be struck by misfortunes and failures. Now concentrate! Who bothers your Kut? Who pulls you down to Erlik’s world? the old man asked while putting more wood in the fire
The young shaman closed his eyes and started to bring in his memory all the women with which he had been connected. First he remembered Maria Anna and immediately he felt as if electric current hit him! From this woman only power and independence was coming to him as feedback. After he remembered Lilly and he felt the state of anger and aggressive jealousy. There were times this woman was so enraged that he would start feeling tension as if he was in danger. He remembered that in these moments he would make himself become more angry and hard inside in order to take the fear out. Selina! Yes, sorrow was coming from her! She was thinking about him.
Well, you understood what happened, right? The old man asked. Now concentrate your attention to the future, to the Kingdom of Ulgen Han and change your inner state
Fishbone sat in a comfortable position and started feeling and dreaming how in the future was going to meet Selina.
No! the old man interrupted him, don’t send the past to the future, cause in this way there is not going to be a future! It will only be a closed circle of events which will repeat itself! In this way you will not move forward in your life at all!
The young apprentice took a deep breath and he exhaled with force. He straightened his spine and concentrated in the center of his forehead were the soul of creativity Bosi lives. He then started to focus into the future. He thought that he was going to transmit to people the great knowledge of the Shaman. He dreamed that he would help people change their lives for the better. He saw himself being happy, successful and focused, alive! And then as if he had been transferred in his childhood, he started feeling drifted away to some place where he had the sensation that something great and big was waiting for him in the future, when he would be stronger, happier and wiser! From these feelings his state completely transformed, he was now filled up with enthusiasm and energy. Immediately he felt that he wanted to do something.
That’s it! Now you are in the right state! Said the old shaman. He took two bones and started beating them one to the other making a happy melody. But, are the memories and all of our past completely a bad thing? They really destroy us? How is possible? How can we live without memories and without past? to be continued...